There is actually nothing that can prepare you for being a parent, knowing that it is an aspect of life that is most challenging gives a better attitude to parenting because it will test your nerves, emotion, strength and at times your sanity. so bearing these in mind will help you have a proper approach in dealing with different stages; starting with the sleepless night of breast feeding, changing of nappies, potty training, just when you think you have got one phase of childhood cracked they grow a bit older and it is a whole new game altogether. The pattern changes as children progress from one stage to another. Some parents at this point gets confused, not knowing how to relate with their children, some shy away from their responsibilities which makes it difficult for them to understand their children, while some parents are in closer relationship with their children as a result they find it much easier to impact the necessary family values that they need to grow up as responsible adult which will be of great benefit to the family and society at large. Some people believe that parenting skills should come naturally but sometimes we all need a bit of help and support, that is why parenting skills are something we learn not something we are born with. These are the benefits you enjoy once you develop your parenting skills they are as follows: a clear understanding on how to handle different situations at different stages in raising children. Help to develop a closer relationship with your children. Provide ways to handle certain issues for example behavioural problems, discipline, education, rewards and even stress management; these in return will create healthier, happier households where children thrive. Help us as parent to evaluate ourselves, and then start correcting our little flaws or rather bad habits as well as introducing new more helpful ones for us and members of our household. We learn every day in life to improve ourselves. Learning about those first crucial years of the life of your children, how to use positive discipline to correct them, avoiding power struggles, and how to determine a need from want.
Parenting skills:
When it comes to parenting there are certain elements that makes a parent skilled, these skills won’t always be appreciated by your children, most likely not until your children are parent themselves.
Being a parent is really not about winning a popularity contest it can be a difficult line to walk knowing that it is not a part-time activity but a full –time and dedicated practice. As mentioned parenting is a learning experience. It is always better to learn from mistakes, because there are no perfect parents. Likewise every child differs in mental attitudes, dislikes, and likes. Applying the same method on every child can be destructive bearing in mind that every child is different and unique in their own ways. Using your own experiences will only help to certain extend because our future relationships are a reflection of our relationships with our primary caregivers (parents). Therefore it will be wise to look back and analyze how you were brought up and amend some mistakes made by your parents as you embrace new useful parenting skills. Communication: Have a good relationship with your children by interacting with them regularly. Be approachable. Every family have what is deemed right or wrong depending on their background with in this reason, a family should plan and communicate their expectations such as social, academic, religion, family values, personal appearance and hygiene. Some expectation are more demanding than other as a result parents should take into consideration the children’s ages, ability, developmental status, and resource that are available to the family. These expectations should be communicated to them clearly in words and indeed, having a family meeting is also a way of clarification and expression of the expectations between parents and children. Communication is incomplete if the act of listening is not taking into consideration; listen to what your children have to say. Parents are so busy telling children what to do most times without listening to their concern. Ask them what are their hopes, fears, anxieties. The better you understand the needs of your children the better parent you are. Stick to your rules; let your yes be yes, and your no be no. whether it is when you are discipline your child or not , rules need to be enforced after they are made. Good parenting skills require you to stick to any rules you establish. If you show them that you can make and break rules, they will think rules are made to be broken. Be a role model: Don’t do anything in their present that you don’t want them to do. Practice what you preach. Children term to copy their parents because they see them as their role model. If you find yourself exhibiting behavior that you don’t want your children to copy you, it’s sign that you should change how you react in certain situations. Self-control: Learn to control your temper in the present of your children, it might send a wrong signal. Note that any time you lose control and yell or argue with someone, you are showing your children that this is how people react when times get tough. Instead show good parent skills by keeping your cool and resolving the problem in at hand in a calm manner. If you lose your temper or necessarily apologize and take responsibility for your anger. This is good way to model healthy behavior. Show love and affection: Many parents love their children; some know how to express love while some don’t. Don’t let a day go by without you saying ‘I love you’ to your children. Hug and kiss them to show emotion. A hug for a child often makes him /her feel loved, safe and able to count on you. Make birthdays special: Children are God’s greatest gift to us; each child is different in how they see themselves and the world around them. All children are gifted- each in his/her special way. With affordable resources celebrate their uniqueness and make their birth day special.
Spend quality time with your children: Most times parents spend time with their children but fail to be actively engage with them. This is especially important for working moms to do since most often the children are with the nannies or in day care while they are at work. Be part of their world; guild them in the books they read, the programs they watch on Television. Educate them on the benefit and danger of the internet. Discipline and Reward: Discipline should been seen as positive learning experience that sets behavioral limits and guidelines to lead children to and through adulthood, it is not ‘punishment’. The main reasons for discipline are in three fold; first it teaches a child to achieve for himself, secondly it leads a child to self-discipline so he /she will behave without parental guidance. Thirdly discipline helps a child develop a sense of pride and pleasure when he / she does something right. Rewards; don’t forget to appreciate good behavior because it is as important as discipline. Don’t underestimate the positive effect that your praise can have on them. Again be specific when doing your praise, let the child know why and what action he/she is been rewarded.
