Good day madam Harriet, I find it very difficult forgive my husband whenever he offends me. I see his action as a deliberate act. What can I do, I seriously need your help before I start feeling resentment towards him. Thanks
Mrs. Helen N.
Lagos island
I must commend you for sharing your issue with me, asking for help when situation is out of your control is the way to go because a problem shared is a problem half solved. Before we can jump into the conclusion that his action is a deliberate one, first question is; have you talk to him about it, if yes what was his reaction. Why I am taking it this way is because some men act without knowing the effect of their action, for such people they move on as nothing happened. Others forget easily. Therefore, peaceful confrontation by discussing the issue and the effect on your relationship must not be over look
Ways to forgive your husband; find time to address the issue and how his action has affected you and your relationship with him in a calm manner nothing is achieved in anger.
Be specific and go straight to the point, avoid bringing past incident, dwell in the presence.
This discussion must be just you and your husband allow avoid third party at the beginning expect when necessary then you can involve some one, he respects and regard.
Allow him to express or explain himself, then gentle let him know how you want to be treated. Don’t threaten him no matter the situation.
Then for you who is hurting because of his action there are tips to guide in order for you to keep your sanity.
Find a place in your heart to forgive him, knowing that it will help you as a person especially your mental health. When you forgive it’s like a heavy load off your shoulder, you feel lighter. Unforgiveness is as taking poison and expecting the person to die. To forgive is divine as our Almighty GOD forgive us, we in return must learn to forgive one another, trust me we are human with different personality, different upbringing, we are bound to clash from time to time. Let’s always remember what unite us than our differences.
Moreover, never forget the good qualities of your husband, I mean the happy days. With time he will understand how you want to be treated. Anytime you start feeling otherwise towards him talk about it, never hold back. Effective communication has a way of resolving issues in marriage and relationship so give it a try and let me know the outcome. If there’s no head way then you can book for couple counselling. Take good care of yourself and each other.
