My husband and I are always arguing about money, why is money such a big issue in marriage? Thanks. (Mrs. Akin. Lagos.)
Although money is not everything in a marriage, it can make or unmake a home. Money is very important to everyone as to couples. Many marriages are in trouble today because of money while some have failed and died a natural death. It is hard to admit, money is often the root of most problems in marriages but if handled properly can be a source of amazing intimacy. That is not to say that money is the centre of life or that managing the family finances must be a heavy burden. In fact, financial success is really just a matter of making good choices consistently.
However the issue of money is so fundamental in marriage that we cannot over look it , For example when couples struggle financially we see an increase in domestic arguments, breakups, and chaos. It’s difficult to show love towards your spouse when your mind his occupied with worries about financial matters like school fees, house rent, and other bills. Only couples who are open in their finances can stand hard times because there is no financial secret.
Talking about why money is such an issue in marriage, we find out that couples most times rate each other’s spending differently, phrases like I’m the saver while you are the spender is commonly used.
The perception of spending money between husband and wife are different, most women usually take care of family daily expenses; groceries, clothes for the family while men spend on large purchases like plasma TV, cars computers ,however they are spending differently. In some homes for example, money can be used to dominate a relationship or satisfy a hungry ego to some spouse. Too little of it can be source of anxiety especially when there are children to be educated, again too much of it can also lead to inflated egos and break bond. These are ways money can affect a marriage, unemployment is not left out it can affect self esteem confidence level, emotional state of a spouse and this can really affect a marriage. Moreover, extend family expenses can be a financial challenge to a family if not discuss and manage properly. Lifestyle not in accordance with the available resource can put a huge strain on spouse’s relationship. Gigantic purchases like building or buying a house, car, if not within budget, and proper time can pose as a problem. If you and your spouse quarrel over money most times, here are some guides;
Talking about money with your spouse is one way of solving money issues. You are in a better position to solve the issue pressing on your marriage mostly if it has to do with money. Looking for what suit your family, some families can work better with a joint account for instance, while others can have joint and still maintain separate personally account. You know what! Look for what suit your family and apply it. Always remember to save for a rainy day.
Keeping spending on check; gone are the days of cutting your coat according to your size, with the economy situation couples should know that it is now cut your coat according to your fabric, Therefore, having a plan on what is important and necessary is vital, Communicating with your spouse, deciding on how much money will be allocated to daily running of the house, how much to save for big projects and so on together must be put into consideration, in order to avoid monetary problem in marriage. Avoid blaming each other when things go wrong; this is one common challenge that couples who are going through financial problem experience, A situation where by a spouse see’s his /her spouse as somebody who spends without regards while he/she hardly spend, if not treated properly might lead to some bigger problem because in the real sense they both spend, it just that their priorities are different in terms of their purchase as mentioned earlier. Avoid debts; this is another aspect that affects marital relationship, avoid purchases on credit. Don’t go buying what you can’t afford; something we have to know is that good things never come to an end. There will always be nice stuff; however, that you cannot afford it today does not mean that you can’t tomorrow. Go for what you can afford and be contempt. Approach all financial issues as a team, setting goals for resolving your financial setbacks. Agreeing on a course of action together provides the clarity of purpose necessary for finding a solution.
Remember don’t blame each other when things go wrong. The blame approach doesn’t work in marriages and love.
Self pity also is a waste of emotion, don’t wallow in it. Feeling sorry for yourself or your situation does not solve anything. Getting out is by taking a team approach to focus and act positively.
Take action today to begin addressing your financial issues together. More so, Celebrating together over a financial break through should not be left out. Times do occasionally get tough, but here’s the bottom line- if you have a loving and trusting relationship with someone who believe in it. If you love someone completely, then understand that your true love will sustain you through best of times and the worst of times.
problem shared is a problem half solved
Dealing with Money in Marriage
