Dear Harriet thanks for your advice I am a great fan on Instagram. I must commend Ifeoma Williams and you for the great work you ladies are doing every Thursday at 6 pm live, where issues on relationships, family and lifestyles are treated. Please help me I have issue with my temper and it’s really affecting my work and relationship.
Thanks for sharing your challenges with us; temper is once aspect if not treated properly will affect every aspect of your well being. Identifying the fact that it is your problem and you need help is a first step to healing. Naturally everyone gets angry at some times therefore we express our anger in different ways. Life is not always jolly, there’s a time you are happy, there’s a time you are sad. We naturally get angry when people or situation upsets us but here is the take; if in the process of anger you are not in control of your emotion / temper that is a sign that you have an issue with anger management. Here are some useful tips in managing your anger;
Step 1; what is your trigger i.e. at what point do you lose control of your temper, what is your breaking point, what gets you angry.
Step 2; what is your personality; this is a way for you to find out who you are. The question is who am I, what is my limitation, what gets me angry, what I can take and what it that I cannot take is. Knowing your personality will help you understand yourself better and how to manage yourself and situations.
Step 3; the effect of anger is one aspect that must be emphasis; medically anger affects our health if not handle properly. This can lead to mental health, high pressure, heart attack or stroke.
Step 4; knowing various form of anger is another aspect that will help you know the necessary technic to use;Â behavioural anger- this type of a person that is always ready to attack or fight
Next is passive and redress anger; those people who use mockery as a way to hide their feelings. People like this hate confrontation, other forms are verbal, constructive, judgemental, paranoid, and deliberate.
Way forward; recognise when your anger shows up, action; count one to ten. Move away from the environment to down the tension. Engage on what you enjoy doing. Exercise to ease tension with the help of the feel good hormone. Write down if it makes you feel better. Reflect later to see what actually happen; what led to it, what role did you play, that of the other person. Better way to have addressed the issue. Learn to take away a lesson from the situation. Train yourself on self control. Divert attention will be of great help in dealing with anger; some take to cooking, dancing, listen to music, reading.
Seek therapy if you cannot handle it on your own. Learn to relax. Temper must be address so that it would affect the person’s well being.
Note; a problem shared is a problem half solved.
Ways to deal with temper!!
