Masturbation and the way forward


Good evening ma, I am 16 years old so confuse and don’t know what to do I desperately need your advice. Presently I am not living with my parents due to some circumstances so I live with an advance couple. My problem is masturbation and this I have been doing for two to three years now. This act is affecting me seriously all I think about is sex, my concentration has dropped drastically and my academic is suffering, my grades are so low I use to be very intelligent but not anymore. I have resulted to examination malpractice which I feel so bad about. Please I need your help urgently I am so ashamed of my self. Can I recover from this filthy act? Help me. Realizing the fact that you need help is applaud able, we must commend your courage for sharing your problem with us, it take a lot of strength to summon such courage to do so bearing in mind that masturbation is a secret habit that victims are ashamed of talking about freely. Most teenagers male or female although lesser portion of girls compare to boys are confronted with same challenge but they find it difficult to open up. Reason been that at the stage of adolescent which starts from the age of thirteen-nineteen years young boys start going through changes in their bodies; physically and emotionally this is also applicable to girls as well due to the hormonal changes. Feelings come to play that is when a young boy/ girl start thinking that he or she is in love with a particular girl whereas in the actual sense it’s just mere infatuation or crush. Now a child that does not understand why he/she is feeling in a certain way might go the wrong way because of lack of proper information from home to start with at an early stage then school. Masturbation can be described as self –stimulation of one’s genital to the point of orgasm. This is one widespread struggle of adolescence which some see it as a joke; some silently talk about it among friends while some are so ashamed to be related with the act. The issue of masturbation is not only centered on male, some female are also involved in the act as well but the difference is that the ratio of boys that masturbate is more than the girls. Teenage stage is a remarkable period of physical and emotional changes in a person’s life. Therefore the sudden changes all teenagers experience often surprise and confused them because of little or no information given. They are most times not adequately equipped to understand and tackle the sex urges as the play up, which is natural due to their current stage in life. In addressing the issue at hand which is masturbation, it will be proper for us to list out the possible reasons why teenage boys for example masturbate; physiological changes this is as a result of the hormonal changes that takes place at this period. Feelings start driving wide so lack of the right information on how to deal with such feelings can actual lead to masturbation. Which if not address can affect other aspect of the person’s life. Next is lack of proper sex education, a situation whereby a child is not properly informed about the changes that will occur in his or body both externally and internally at a certain age that is, what to expect and how to go about it. Once there’s a gap the child in the process of seeking answers or solution might be guided wrongly into masturbation.  However, some adult have this notion that talking to children about sexuality, sex and relationship is actually encouraging them to put the act into practice, forgetting that knowledge is power. On the other hand, some children to view any awareness of their bodies particularly sexuality as bad. This simply leaves some children unprepared for sexual urges and surges they encounter as adolescence. Other factors are the company the keep; their type of friends keep and what they do (peer pressure). Rumors and secrecy can also lead a teenager into the act of masturbation. Masturbation is like a drug addict hungry for his next fix when to address. To be continued.


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Harriet Ogbobine
Mrs Harriet Ogbobine is an educator, professional social counsellor and motivational speaker who has worked (and still working ) for various organisations and attended various courses on life issues: relationships, work, family, crisis and stress management, healthy lifestyle among others. She has worked for Good Counsel Network UK as a social welfare and publicity counsellor. Counselling Coordinator for DoctorsHealthInitiative. Mrs Harriet Ogbobine is the principal consultant of IGGI POP Nig. Ltd, A facilitator for Ministry of Women Affairs Poverty Alleviation Lagos State, magazine ( Today's Woman) The Nation News Paper Columnist Mrs. Harriet Ogbobine has conducted very numerous and regular motivational talks and counselling in various sectors both in Nigeria and the UK over the years. She is the Family, Relationships and lifestyle residence counselor for family Life, Saturday call in live show on Top radio 90.9FM at 9.30- 11am and co host/counselor on I Need A Partner live call in show on NTA2 which shows on DSTV 369,GOTV114, STARTIMES 104, every Friday at 10pm with a repeat same time on Saturday. She has featured on various Tv talk shows and heard on various radio stations. with her work experience over the years helping people with life issues especially those experiencing one form of abuse or the other for easy understanding and clarity, in passing the necessary message across to the grassroots, she relates in English, Pidgin English, Yoruba, Ibo, and Edo as the case may be. Contact: 08054682598 Instagram; HarrietOgbobine Twitter; @bineharrietj Ogudu GRA Lagos Nigeria
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