Single parenthood may happen because of death, divorce, separation, abandonment, or that a man has a child outside marriage. In spite of the circumstances surrounding the family situation, been a single dad can be very stressful and challenging. By nature men are different in dealing with issue of raising children compare to women therefore some men find it very difficult to take up the full responsibility of raising their children alone without the support of a woman, as a result they marry almost immediate in order to have a woman who will assist them in bringing up their children. Others might decide to remain single. On this note, we are going to consecrates on single dads who are bringing up their children alone. Raising children as a single dad can be stressful, considering the fact that most of the responsibility lays on you alone, although some have little or no support from their ex,family members and friends, depending on the circumstances that led to separation for example. A single dad is face with a lot of challenges both personal and otherwise. A lot of fears, tensions and frustrations that only have intermediate solutions some times, Moreover, children are also face with monumental challenges and obstacles, some that are confronted immediately while others develop over a longer period of time. Bringing up children can be difficult under any situation and without a partner the stakes are even higher. Now the issue is how should single dads deal with the challenges of single parenting?. Have a good structure in place; create a daily routine for every member of your family to follow. Such as regular time for food, study time, play time and bed time. Teach them, get them involve religiously in accordance with your religion. Pray with them and make them participate fully, so that when they grow up they will not depart from the value you have impact on them. This will help your children and other members of the family to know what to expect and be organize, it will also give you room to have time for other things as well. In situation where you have domestic staffs assisting or family members, assign duties, and supervise them properly. Communication: maintain a good relationship with your children, talk with them not at them, and listen to them when they are talking to you. Interact with them, be their best friend, let them see you as a dad that they can tell everything and the only way you can achieve this, is only if you are free with them, for the case of divorce/separation always let them understand that it has nothing to do with them because children in dealing with divorce cases always feel that the separation/ divorce is as a result of their action (fault). Create family time: set aside times each day to have quality family time with your children. Bonding with your children as a single dad is very important and the only way you can achieve it is by spending time doing things together as family with your children. This will also give you the opportunity to know your children’s individual personalities, their strength and weakness in other areas like academics, emotional, and so on. Remember to set boundaries as well as consequences involve if not obeyed. Ensure you follow up otherwise they will not take you or the boundaries seriously. A law abiding adult is one who has been taught to have boundaries as a child. Word of caution; set realistic boundaries. Role model: being the only parent makes you their number one role model. Be a good example to your children in every way. Don’t do anything in their present that you don’t want them to do. Practice what you preach. Children term to copy their parents because they see them as their role model. If you find yourself exhibiting behavior that you don’t want your children to copy you, it’s sign that you should change how you react in certain situations. In our August Article last year we wrote about parental skills to help parents in raising their children and one of the aspect we mentioned was; Showing love and affection: some know how to express love while some don’t. Don’t let a day go by without you saying ‘I love you’ to your children. Hug and kiss them to show emotion. A hug for a child often makes him /her feel loved, safe and able to count on you. Make birthdays special: Children are God’s greatest gift to us; each child is different in how they see themselves and the world around them. All children are gifted- each in his/her special way. Celebrate their uniqueness and make their birth day special with affordable resource. Praise and Reward: Don’t forget to praise good behavior because it is as important as discipline. Don’t underestimate the positive effect that your praise can have on your children, again be specific when doing your praise, let them know why you are praising them. Appreciate their efforts and successes especially in areas where they have struggled. Keep yourself healthy: for some dads separation/ divorce for example are one of the most stressful life events they ever go through. That pressure may be amplified by custody and financial issues, which can bring out the worst in people. So discovering ways to manage your own stress is very essential for as a person and your family. Keeping yourself as physically and emotionally healthy as possible can help combat the effect of stress. You will then be in the best shape to take care of your family. Create time for yourself: Have moment of relaxation, “a me” time doing what you enjoy doing. Make out time to kick back and relax. Rest is very important especially as a single dad. A good rest will make you feel refresh. Help: learn to interact with other single dads, who have gone through the same situation. Learn from their experiences. You can also seek the help of a counselor, therapist, or a friend if need be. Financial struggle and well-being of the children: because most dads are they bread winners of the home, the financial responsibility falls mainly on them with little or no assistance from anybody. To a single dad who is in this category; simply see himself providing all the necessary things they need as normal. ( been a dad) but other single dads who have been supported by their spouse in the past can start experiencing stress of financial strain, due to the lack of financial support. However as a single dad maintaining a good job and stay employment is very important because you need money to take care of the home. Bearing this in mind single dads must learn to be able to balance their career/ job and the affairs of the children in order to maintain a healthy home.
A problem shared is a problem half solved. Take care of yourself and each other.
