Good day to you madam, I want to say kudos to you for your wealth of experience and counseling, I will be glad to get counseling on Marital relationship from you at your convenience, thanks.
Thanks for your compliment; we give God all the glory. We really appreciate your text message. Marital relationship in our busy world is such a huge challenge. Unfortunately there is not enough good news about marriages today. Separation, divorce, and remarriage, marriages of low quality abound while happy marriages are seldom even heard about though we all know many such happy marriages exist. Why is the institution of marriage under such pressure in our world today? The rate of divorce and separation is growing by the day. Must it be so? Is there anything we can do to change the trend? The answer is of course yes! There is much we can all do to help couples who want to make their marriage successful by imbibing some useful martial relationship tips. Most couples take their relationship for granted as the years goes by, some stop doing the things they enjoyed before marriage; they stop spending quality time together, they stop showing affection for one another, and some have little or no form of communication at all.  Love is totally out of the question for some, they fail to understand that love within marriage is a myriad reality. Love does not exist on its own; it depends on other virtues in order to be meaniful. To have a good relationship with your spouse is the ability to express love and love is based on respect, care, kindness, consideration, sharing everything, self –giving and personal affection. Every one’s relationships are different. But sometimes we face similar issues. Whatever you are going through in your relationship, it can be comforting to know that you are not alone. Moving on. Effective communication; most couples have drifted apart over the years for one reason or the other. Some put it on pressure, could be personal, family, job, or financial. Lack of effective interaction between couples can affect their marriage. Communication is the building block of intimacy in marriage because through it couples can express their thoughts, and feeling for each other. Remember you can no mind reader; the only way you can relate with each other is by talking. Therefore for better communication the sender must make sure that the message is clear, while the receiver must understand the message because sometimes they hear without listening. To be a good listener help couples to relate properly. Seeing your spouse as somebody you can talk to about everything and he/ she will listen attentively without any distraction. Next, is how to communicate; we communicate in different ways verbal and non –verbal. Verbal communication is the use of words that is what you say, how you say it and when. To have an effective interaction with your spouse you must get your timing right when you want to talk, it is very important. Spoken words are very powerful they can make or destroy a marriage or relationship. The way you talk to your spouse stays more in their minds, whether harsh or kind words. Money in marriage should not be neglected; couples should talk about their financial issues freely, although money is not everything in marriage but when not tackled properly can make or UN make a home. Many relationships have gone sour because of money issue, so couples should have financial discussion, plan, and work together as a team following their budget. There are no particular ways to dealing with money issue, look for what will work for your family and follow it. Always talk to each other. Moreover, personality type must not be left out in discussing marital relationship; you must know your spouse very well. What kind of person is my wife or my husband is what should come to mind at all times. What are his/her likes and dislikes. Knowing these will help you know your boundaries, which in return will help your marriage. Understanding is very important because that is the only way you can appreciate your spouse strength and short comings. Tolerant, patient and respect must be inclusive for a happy marriage. In addition spending quality time together with your spouse must not be overlook because that is the time you can relax talking about personal romantic issues that is not center on the children, bills, work talk about the two of you in a romantic atmosphere chilling. Come on! You are married for crying out loud. Treat yourself. That takes me to the next point which is attitude to sex in marriage; some many marital beds have gone cold. Sex is more like a duty to most couples with little or no excitement, this have led to broken homes. Sex in marriage is a big deal. Like I will always say –marriage is the only legal platform that you can do and undo. Not for the singles, because I know I have young and single readers, this is not you. Please kindly excuse. The manner toward sex in marriage for some couples is not acceptable; some husbands pay little or no attention to romance, their focus is on sex straight away. Some have this it is my right attitude with no regards to the feelings of their spouse. Some forget to understand that they must put every little detail into consideration, they start the day for example by being nasty to their wives and at night they expect her to be up and doing in bed, wrong! With most women the mood just have to be right so to get the best you must treating her well from the beginning so at night sex comes naturally. On the other hand some women behaviour toward sex is not encouraging- some see sex as call of duty, having sex with their husband is performing their wifely role not to enjoy. Others always have excuses to give once it comes to sex. Most wives feel that it is not a woman’s place to initiate sex, so they suppress their feelings because they feel it is the man’s place to make the initial move. Sex should be discussed freely by couples and this will enhance their relationship because sex creates a bond between a husband and wife, it is to be enjoyed so go ahead and spice up your love life.
