I have this pressing issue, my daughter’s job is a very demanding one, it is a very good job no question about that but my concern is that her job is taking most of her time that she has little or no time for her family, from time to time she invites me to come and stay with her children. Don’t get me wrong, I love looking after my grand children. The issue is that her husband is complaining bitterly and I don’t want anything to happen to her marriage, please how can she balance her job with her marriage.
Thanks and God bless. (Mrs. Okoye. Lagos)
I must commend you for being such a concerned mum, thank you for sharing your problem with us. This indeed is an excellent way to address the issue of balancing marriage and jobs, which poses a huge challenge for most working couples. In today’s world where both couples have to work in order to cater for the family it can be a tough one. At first having such a job might seem just fine but once the family start growing, expectations increase and everyone in the family needs attention and time, so the job might now become an issue and if not tackled properly may lead to other problems in the marriage. We have endless cases of how managing a family and career is a difficult task for most working spouses. Starting from allotting time to each other, to spending time on household work, managing work, kids, and their demands, life seems like a busy platform of never ending chores and responsibilities. There are times when you just don’t seem to give enough to work, or when you cannot be there for your loved ones. These are the seeds of frustration and they keep growing with time, so there is an imbalance in your personal and professional life, sometimes which results in serious marital problems. We don’t mean to underestimate the dedication to building a strong career, but we also do not support the thought of sacrificing the whole purpose of living for it. Therefore here are some useful tips that might help your daughter to manage her home along side with her job. Many times you will find yourself biased on either of the aspects, or you may feel you are pushing too hard to make the most of both your marriage and career. An important fact to remember is that though both these factors may sound interlinked, especially considering the monetary importance, your job should not take control of your life. It is crucial for you to stream your time carefully between these two things. In order to have a better understanding, it will be nice for you to discuss with your spouse. Communication is the key to a successful relationship especially in cases like this. Sitting down to discuss issues affecting your marriage and providing a collective solution will help. More so, you should talk to your employer if required, if your job demands travelling a lot. However, if you have a good boss, they will be open to this feedback and co operatively works out something that is beneficial for both of you. If you have a bad boss, they will probably tell you to stick it and get back to work. Sometimes there really are bad jobs. In this case it is easy to know where the problem is coming from. Learn not to mix work and family together; work should strictly be limited to work hours, avoid taking your work home if necessary. Try to dedicate time well, for work and for family too. Don’t bring your work worries home likewise your family matters should not disturb you at work. Try to treat your job and your family separately. Planning most not be neglected, organize your work as much possible in the week days, so that your weekends are not affected. On your own relax and de-stress once in a while, do something you enjoy because only when can you make other people happy, exercise is the best way to keep up with work and stress. Remember to give time to yourself. This will rejuvenate you physically and emotionally. Create quality time for your children; take them out once a while, do things they enjoy with them, spend special moment with them, and be involved in their lives. Don’t think you have all the time in the world to do so, remember in no time the will be leaving home for boarding school, then university, and you will be asking yourself where all the years have gone. Enjoy them now that they are still living with you because these are memories that you will not forget. Promote family moments; this should involve your spouse and the children. Family comes first with the support of all. Spend time on the table as a family, relaxing and discussing family issues, Relating freely with your spouse and the children. In addition going out as a family is also another way of having that family moment. Furthermore, it is also necessary that you make out quality time to spend with your spouse without watching TV, reading, or any other activities that will take your attention away from your spouse. Spend time with your spouse alone; discussing and making each other happy, there should be lots of laugher. Talk about everything, if possible how to spice up your love life. Love needs to be nurture so that it can grow. Enjoy each other’s company, doing what you both like. A romantic dinner or a week end get-away can also help. These tips will strengthen your relationship while also strengthening your balance of work and marriage.
Finally, follow up and reassess as necessary; follow up with your spouse and your boss after a couple of weeks and make sure that everything is all right with them. Tweak the plan as necessary and learn to be flexible to new ideas. Every plan changes over time. Yours will too. Hopefully these tips will help you balance your marriage with your job. Take care of yourself and your family.
A problem shared is a problem half solved.
