Dear Harriet, thanks for your counsel on life issues, my husband is complaining bitterly about how my job is affecting our marriage and this is giving me great concern, so I have decided to turn the situation around for good, please I need your counsel on how to balance my marriage and my job. Thanks. (Mrs. Elizabeth O. Lagos)
I must commend you for sharing your situation with us. This indeed is an excellent way to address the issue of balancing marriage and jobs, which poses a huge challenge for most working couples. Today’s world where both couples have to work in order to provide the necessary amenities for the family can be a great challenge. Initially having a dream job might seem great but once the family start growing the demand for attention and time will be on the high side, so the job might now become an issue and if not tackled properly might lead to other problems in the marriage. We have endless cases of how managing a family and job is a difficult task for some working spouses. Starting from creating time for each other, to spending time on household work, managing job, kids, and their demands, life seems like a busy platform of never ending chores and responsibilities. There are times when you just don’t seem to give enough to your job, or when you cannot be there for your loved ones. These can be frustrating sometimes not just to you but also to your love ones. We don’t mean to underestimate the dedication to building a strong career, but we also do not support the thought of sacrificing the whole purpose of living for it. Therefore here are some useful tips that might help you to manage your home along side with your job. Many times you will find yourself biased on either of the aspects, or you may feel you are pushing too hard to make the most of both your marriage and job. An important fact to remember is that though both factors may sound interlinked, especially considering the monetary importance, your job should not take control of your life. It is crucial for you to stream your time carefully between these two aspects in order to have a balance. First step for clarification and better understanding is getting your husband on board by discussing with him and listening to his opinion on how to work things out for the interest of the family. Communication is the key to a successful relationship especially in cases like this. Sitting down to discuss issues affecting your marriage and providing a collective solution will help. More so, you should talk to your employer if required, if your job demand is eating into your free hours offer suggestions on how you can get your job done within working hours. However, if you have a good boss, he/ she will be open to this feedback and co operatively works out something that will be beneficial for both of you. On the other hand, if you have a difficult boss, he/she will probably tell you to stick it and get back to work. Sometimes there really are bad jobs. In this case it is easy to know where the problem is coming from. Time management; work should strictly be limited to work hours, avoid taking your work home if necessary. Try to dedicate time well, for work and for family too. Don’t bring your work worries home likewise your family matters should not disturb you at work. Try to treat your job and your family separately. Planning must not be neglected, organize your work as much possible in the week days, so that your weekends are not affected. On your own relax and de-stress once in a while, do something you enjoy because only when can you make other people happy, exercise is the best way to keep up with work and stress. Remember to give time to yourself. This will rejuvenate you physically and emotionally. Create quality time for your children; take them out once a while, do things they enjoy with them, spend special moment with them, and be involved in their lives. Don’t think you have all the time in the world to do so, remember in no time the will be leaving home for boarding school, then university, and you will be asking yourself where all the years have gone. Enjoy them now that they are still living with you because these are memories that you will not forget. Promote family moments; this should involve your spouse and the children. Family comes first with the support of all. Spend time on the table as a family, relaxing and discussing family issues, Relating freely with your spouse and the children. In addition going out as a family is also another way of having that family moment. In addition, it is also necessary that you make out quality time to spend with your spouse without distractions like watching TV, reading, or any other activities that will take your attention away from your spouse. Spend time with your spouse alone; discussing and making each other happy, there should be lots of laugher. Talk about everything, relax with your spouse. Love needs to be nurture so that it can grow. Enjoy each other’s company, doing what you both like. A romantic dinner or a week end get-away can also help to spice up your marriage. In conclusion, follow ups and reassessment are necessary; review situations with your spouse and your boss after a couple of weeks and make sure that everything is working according to plan. However adjust the plan if need be and learn to be flexible to new ideas. Every plan changes over time. Yours will too. Hopefully these tips will give you a better approach on how to balance your marriage and your job. Take care of yourself and your family.
A problem shared is a problem half solved.
